Mixed feelings...

well my cover design is ready. i think that i like it. it will have to be the one though. i feel excited about getting my book published but also very nervous. i was feeling very positive but doubt has invaded my mind. what if people dont like it..... what if its a load of rubbish......what if everyone laughs at me.......i prayed a positive prayer yesterday.....i prayed that it would sell like hot cakes, and that i would sell a million by christmas.....i cannot live like this any longer....£65 to last me two weeks its ridiculous.....its so hard!!!!! things have got to get better.....they will get better... Now I have written my story, its done, going to be published for all to see........the butterflies are having a field day in my stomach....... i think back to just six weeks ago when i filled in the form for a publisher consultancy form. that was the friday and then the following monday i get a phone call from xlibris telling me about their company and what they can do for me concerning my book. she tells me that the package would cost me £329. i was quoted 8 grand before by a publishers which was way out of my price range, but even though i didnt have £329 its more of an obtainable amount. i tell her that i will think about it, and she promises to call me back in a couple of days.then thats all i do, think about it. i am a christian so i give it over to god. in the tuesday prayer meeting we pray. ok God if this is of you then you will provide the money......that night i cant sleep, I am still thinking about my book actually being published. then i get a call from my friend gwen telling me that she wants to do a sponsered silence to raise the money for my book....wow could this be an answer to my prayer. i put it to my pastor and his wife on the thursday, and they both said that the church will lend me the money until gwen gets the money.... i cant believe it...god is moving.....i check my email from xlibris and realise that the package that they have offered me is at a discount price, and it should really be £799, but the discount ends on the 15th of july....i check the date...it is the 15th of july.... i panic and email xlibris to see if they will extend the offer. ok god if this is of you then it will happen....i receive a reply....the answer is yes until the middle of the following week. i still need to edit my book so this is enough time to do it. the next thursday i have the money and it is paid....ten days after the initial phone call and the ball is rolling...the following monday gwen does her sponsered silence and raises just over £400. unbelievable.....my prayer is answered. so here i am just a few weeks down the road and the interior is done and so is the cover design.All i have to do now is sign the signing off form and then they will give the go ahead for my authors copy.....then it will be available to buy....I am so nervous....i have come a long way in the past six years.....Danny would be so proud of his mum......I hope Lianne and Nicky will be too. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me....Amen.....