Prologue
The mind is a strange thing. It has the ability to create a masterpiece out of just one thought, and the authority to shatter that creation with just one niggling seed of doubt. It has the power to hide our innermost secrets, and the audacity to remind us of them when we least expect it. When the night creeps in, our mind opens up to a world full of dreams, offering a place of safety, cushioning us from the damaging realities of life. Here, our worst fears can be transformed into visions of hope, and for just a short while we are equipped with the capability of outsmarting those cruel hands of fate. Suffering and pain are non-existent in this place, where happy endings are as predictable as the dawning of a new day. Memories of death and loss are barred from entering this sanctuary, its mission to destroy temporarily put on hold.
But temporary is the operative word, because eventually… you have to wake up!
“Where’s Billy?” Danielle cried, standing in front of an empty grave. Panicking, her eyes scanned the cemetery searching for her son, but he was nowhere to be seen. Knowing that he had to be there somewhere, she turned back to the vacant plot, and noticed a big vase of white Lilies sitting at the foot of the gravestone. Reaching down, she went to touch the beautiful bouquet of unspoilt flowers, and as her hand neared the crisp white petals, they suddenly shrivelled up and disappeared.
“Danielle,” the sound of the gentle wind whispered in her ear. “He is not here…But, you are not to blame.” Disorientated, she withdrew her hand. Although she knew her heart was breaking, she couldn’t feel any physical pain. For some strange reason, she felt at peace.
“Yes he is!” Danielle screamed, her eyes filling up with tears. “Billy, where are you?” Then turning around, she saw him.
“There’s my boy,” she whispered into the air that had tried to convince her otherwise. “There’s my Billy.” A big triumphant smile swept across Danielle’s face, squashing her fears like the grass beneath her feet. Unable to move her legs, she cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, “Billy, it’s me.” But to her disappointment, Billy showed no signs of acknowledging her and kept on walking. Even though he didn’t hear her voice, Danielle was not deterred and her smile widened. ‘My Billy’s come home at last,’ she thought watching him walk past her only yards away, wearing his favourite blue and white roll necked jumper. ‘How tall and handsome you are… Oh how I have missed you.’ Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, only this time they were tears of joy. Finding her strength, she called him again, and began to go towards him. “Billy!” Now, she was running. “Billy,” she cried coming up behind him. “It’s me, your mum.”
Billy stood still.
“Oh son, I am so glad you came home.” Danielle stopped just inches away from him. Moving in slow motion, Billy turned around and looked at his mother. He stared at her for a few moments, and Danielle’s heart felt as though it had stopped. Then as if by magic, a huge smile of recognition swept across his face. His gorgeous hazel eyes had the power to light up the heavens, and Danielle had never seen him look so handsome.
Suddenly, a deep sense of pride overwhelmed her.
“Oh darling it has been so long… too long,” Danielle said holding out her arms. “I was afraid I would never see you again.” Billy fell into his mother’s embrace. Finally, she was able to hold her son in her arms again. Squeezing him she said, “I never, ever want to let you go.”
Billy stayed silent.
But something deep down in Danielle’s soul told her she had no other choice. Putting her head into his chest, she closed her eyes and breathed in the memory of her son.
“I love you so much,” she said holding him tight, in the hope that he would respond to her in the same way.
Still, Billy stayed silent.
A few moments passed them by.
“You are the only one who holds me like that,” were the only words that came out of Billy’s mouth as he held his mother tight.
But then, he pulled away.
Aware that she would lose him at any moment, she tried her utmost to keep hold of her first born son, but it was no use. Somehow, he had slipped out of her grasp. Fearing this would be the last time she ever saw him, an excruciating pain tore through her heart.
“Where are you going?” Danielle cried out in sheer desperation, holding out her hand to him. She just couldn’t understand why he wanted to leave. “Please don’t go,” she said, her voice now just a whisper.
But he carried on walking.
Danielle’s worst fears manifested themselves once again as she watched her son disappear into the distance. Then, in the blink of an eye, Billy was gone.
Helpless, alone, and now back in the arms of reality..... Danielle woke up!
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